STAY HOME! DON’T GO TO WORK!! SM
Humorous Risk Management Tips for Employers
Published in The Human Resource (Sept. 2004)
© 2003 Perry Binder, J.D.*

Maybe you’ve spent countless hours dreaming up ways to avoid liability in your business. Maybe you’re tired of paying thousands of dollars for insurance because you fear that next lawsuit coming around the bend. Well, listen up. The only way to avoid liability is for you and your workers to Stay home! Don’t go to work!! SM
The media and internet have provided you with all the wacky tort lawsuits you need to scare those attorney fees out of you. They’ve got you so worked up, that you don’t even know which ones are fact or fiction (see below for answers):
1. A 19 year old won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand while backing out of a driveway. The teenager apparently didn’t notice that there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal the neighbor’s hubcaps.
Stay home! Don’t go to work!! Don’t get in your car!!
2. You’ve heard about the famous hot coffee case filed against McDonald’s. How about this one… While driving, a man placed a milkshake between his legs, leaned over to reach into his bag of food, and squeezed the milkshake container in the process. This action distracted the driver, causing him to hit another car. The man sued the restaurant for failing to warn him against eating while driving.
Stay home! Don’t go to work!! Don’t get in your car!! Place warnings on all products!!
3. A restaurant was ordered to pay $113,500 to a woman who slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx bone. The drink was on the floor because the woman flung it at her boyfriend during an argument, 30 seconds earlier.
Stay home! Don’t go to work!! Don’t get in your car!! Place warnings on all products!! Offer anger management training for customers!!
Thinking of doubling your liability insurance? Read on.
Lawsuits filed by employees against businesses have increased at an alarming rate in the past decade. Not surprisingly, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission received 50% more sexual harassment complaints in 2001 than it did in 1992.
Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, an employer may be held vicariously liable for the unwise conduct of one of its workers, if the company has 15 or more employees. In addition, even if an employer has fewer than 15 employees, that employer could still face a lawsuit based on state discrimination and tort laws. I believe that the rise in lawsuits against employers have occurred for three main reasons:
1- the public has a greater sensitivity to the rights of workers;
2- employees are reading about lawsuits and exercising their perceived legal rights; and
3- the e-mail messages written by co-workers are being used against companies in lawsuits. These e-mails -- thought to be deleted -- can be retrieved from hard drives and backup tapes to provide damaging evidence against an employer.
Stay home! Don’t go to work!! Don’t get in your car!! Place warnings on all products!! Offer anger management training for customers!! Don’t turn on your computer!!
When most people think of sexual harassment cases on the job, the first image is of a supervisor seeking sexual favors from an underling. Even if their intentions are innocent, supervisors -- or those in a position of power -- are strongly urged not to place co-workers in a vulnerable position. Thus, he or she needs to think twice about being alone in a situation with a co-worker. That means conducting meetings with the door open, and not working late, going to dinner, or having a drink alone with a co-worker.
However, an employer is also at risk of a sexual harassment claim if a superior allows his or her office to become a “hostile work environment.” These cases may range from persistent and offensive “dirty jokes,” to a case where an employer did nothing about a male assembly line worker staring at a female co-worker for 5-10 minutes at a time, while the former rubbed his crotch region.
Most
employers have well-written sexual harassment policies. Problems arise,
however, when these policies are not enforced. If the employer does not take
remedial steps to ensure that the working conditions are changed, and if the
transgressions are “severe and pervasive,” the employer faces liability for
sexual harassment.
Stay home! Don’t go to work!! Don’t get in your car!! Place warnings on all products!! Offer anger management training for customers!! Don’t turn on your computer!! Do not look at or speak to anyone at work!! Don’t be sociable!! And above all - Don’t be a team player!!
Practical Alternative for Life in the Litigious 21st Century
Just wake up in the morning, go to work (but not in your car), do not speak with, smile at, or gesture to anyone, close your office door (make sure you’re alone), do not touch your telephone or computer, eat lunch at your desk, go home, don’t turn on the T.V. (might give you violent tendencies to bring to the workplace), drink warm milk, and go to sleep.
If this alternative is too complicated, simply Stay home! Don’t go to work!! SM
Just make sure you don’t telecommute for all of the above reasons.
*Perry Binder, J.D. is a legal studies professor in Georgia State University's Robinson College of Business in Atlanta, Georgia. He teaches law and ethics classes in an optimistic, enthusiastic, and practice-oriented manner. In addition, Professor Binder conducts seminars for large and small companies on a range of topics, including business ethics, litigation prevention, e-commerce law, products liability law, and sexual harassment law.
Professor Binder is an energetic speaker who enjoys interacting with diverse audiences. He appears nationwide on radio and television shows dealing with timely business and legal issues. Professor Binder practiced law as a business litigator, and is the author of numerous legal publications. His most recent articles are "Presenting E.T.H.I.C.S. - Elevating Trust Has Inspired Customer Satisfaction" (Professional Speaker, May 2003) and “Protecting Your Company’s Domain Name” (SHRM-Atlanta Newsletter, May 2003; Competitive Edge Magazine, October 2002).
Perry Binder, J.D. may be reached for comments at pbinder@gsu.edu .
Very Wormy Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is important to consult with an attorney to apply this information to the unique situations that your company may encounter.
ANSWERS TO TORTS: 1- Not true, an urban legend; 2- True!! But the case was dismissed; 3- Not true, an urban legend.