EXAMPLES OF RATED ESSAYS

The examples of rated essays provided in this section illustrate how the essay rating procedures are applied to a variety of essays. The rating is given at the end of each essay, and the essays are grouped in the order of the ratings. New raters should review each essay and its rating.

After reviewing these rated essays, new raters should practice applying the rating procedures to the essays provided in the "Practice Essays" section.




HOW DOES A PERSON MAKE A FAVORABLE FIRST IMPRESSION IN AN INTERVIEW?


We as college students, have ahead of us possibly one of the most difficult tasks left to master. As we come to the crossroads, for which our years of education have been directing us, it is important to realize that knowledge alone may not lead to the occupation that we desire.

The task of searching for a job may be made somewhat simplified if we take some time to consider that all-important interview; and more specifically the qualities we have demonstrated in the interview, once we leave the office.

The qualities most likely to allow us to have a second interview are punctuality and sincerity.

Punctuality is viewed by perspective employers as a very honorable quality. Honorable in the sense that we are there out of a feeling of respect for the employer's time. Arriving on time also demonstrates the kind of eagerness that reminds interviewer's how determined we are to have a position with them.

Our sincerity, secondly, remains on the mind of the interviewer longer than any grading statistics that may appear on our resume.

Shake your perspective employer's hand with a firm grip, our body language says alot about us.

Answer questions thoughtfully and forcefully so as to be understood as well as heard. Our sincere answers to questions may get us the position we are looking for.

Punctuality means money to your boss, don't allow him to see you as a bad investment.

Sincerity is one of the few impressions we leave and it may be the only side of us an employer has an opportunity to see.


Rating: 1



IF YOU WERE MADE THE PROGRAMMING DIRECTOR OF A MAJOR TELEVISION NETWORK, WHAT CHANGES IN PROGRAMMING WOULD YOU MAKE? EXPLAIN.


If chosen programming director of a major television network many changes would be implemented for the viewers. There would be less advertising during the family television hours. There would be more educational programs for children. Also, there would be a cut back on the stereotype movies and advertising.

Perhaps, one of the first changes to be made in the television network is less advertising, during family viewing. A smaller amount of commercials would definitely give its audience more of the program. There would be no interruptions every ten minutes between scenes. Also, a minimum amount of advertising benefits the viewer in which he can get a better understanding of the program.

In addition, more educational programs would be provided during the children hours. However, these programs would be presented during the time most children are at home. They would not have to watch those programs which relay violence. Children would not have to view the daily soap operas because there would be special educational presentations just for them. However, some children might not get to see those programs.

Although, many changes would be made, equally important is the cut back of stereotype movies. This cut back would eliminate sexist movies on television. Also, the viewer would not get ideas such as, the only roles males and females play are sex symbols. In addition, a female place is in the home. The male place is outside doing a hard days work.

Therefore, being a programming director of a major television network many major changes would be made to better television for society. This would include giving families more viewing time of programs. The output of more educational programs for children would be implemented. Another change would be the limited number of stereotype pictures. These are some changes and practices which would be used to upgrade the programming of television.


Rating: 1



SHOULD THE GOVERNMENT DO MORE TO DISCOURAGE SMOKING? WHY OR WHY NOT?


"The High Rate for Cancer Has Decreased Because Cigarettes are Off the Market" would be a nice headline if the government did more to discourage cigarette smoking and succeeds. The government should do more to discourage cigarette smoking because this would decrease the high cancer percentage and help many people break their habit.

First, if the government does do more to discourage cigarette smoking it may succeed and there would be a tremendous decrease in the cancer percentage. Although, cigarettes are not the only items on market that cause cancer, but if cigarettes are removed, then there would be one less item on market that does cause cancer.

Second, if the government does more to discourage cigarette smoking it would help many people kick the smoking habit. There are many people trying to stop smoking but can not. If the government succeeds at it's effort to discourage cigarette smoking many people, especially the smokers, would be very happy because they would no longer have to worry about trying to stop smoking.

In conclusion, if the government succeeds at it's attempt to discourage cigarette smoking, this would be a great benefit for the smokers, because they would have kicked the habit and helped the cancer rate to decrease in the non- smokers.

Rating: 1



WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE MAJOR EFFECTS OF DIVORCE UPON CHILDREN? DISCUSS.

From birth to the first few years, life is filled with new, exciting and influential experiences. Familarization with the people and things in the surroundings makes lasting impressions. For years doctors and psychologists have been pondering the question of the effect divorce has on the offspring of a marriage. Although the information is still inconclusive, I will attempt to define my feelings on the subject based on the first few lines of this essay.

With the passing of time, even a very short time, parents become a symbol in an infant's eyes. The infant becomes dependent on the faces, the hands, the bodies that feeds loves and protect it.

As the infant grows in to a child, it becomes more and more attached to its parents. If at some point, the child senses something wrong between the parents it will respond in some way. This response also holds true if the parents are seperated and eventually divorced.

Divorce creates problems with children that few couples or parents realize or understand. For instance if for 3 years the father, mother and child has been living together as a family unit. Suddenly (in the childs eyes) the father disappears, he simply walkes out. This 3 year old child cant understand what's going on. But he knows and responds to his fathers absence. This holds true for children of almost any age. Along with the confusion of "where is Daddy, the child will go through phases which will show that divorce affects him in some devistating ways.

The security I spoke of earlier is one of the things that could have an impact on the child. For 3 years, father has watched over the family unit, he is big strong and protects mother too. Now that father is gone who will be there. The child could resent his fathers leaving or resent his mother for letting him go. While this is important, the childs loss of companionship could be more important.

Father has been spending a great deal of time playing with talking to and holding this child. If this is suddenly lost, the child will or could resent it.

While resentment maybe easiely overcome by a child of 3 years, mental and emotional difficulties may not be.

The tension, stress, and strain of a divorce tend to play the biggest role in how a child will adjust afterward. I'm sure we all know how attached most children are to their parents. There are emotional ties that could never be broken. However if a child understand what is going on or senses hostility between his parents he tends to be torn between them. He may experience confusion, resentment, hostility mental and emotional stresses. If the problem continue to exist, this could lead to longlasting if not permanant mental and emotional strain.

As the study of divorce and its effect on children continue, parents should keep in mind what they are doing to thier children. Apprehension about future fathers (step-fathers), could spark a new and more tragic experience.

While I realize that not all marriages work out, I also realize that not all children respond or recover the same. So parents be aware of the consequences, you could be destroying the most precious thing(s) in your lives, your children.


Rating: 1



SOME STATES NOW PERMIT SINGLE MEN AND WOMEN TO ADOPT CHILDREN. DO YOU FAVOR SUCH A POLICY? EXPLAIN WHY OR WHY NOT.


Adopting a child is a big responsibility for both the child and adult. In todays society, more and more people are becoming more independent on themselves. In turn, people are not taking the vows of marriage for the security of a mate. Adopting a child as a single parent would give the parent child relationship a stronger personalised relationship while building a more secure home invironment. Single parents adopting children would also reduce the divorce rate by over 25%.

A single parent would be able to offer a child more attention while not having to worry about the lost attention a mate may feel. Single parents feel more independent and directly teach their children how to become more independent on themselves. Children also feel that the time they spend with their single parent is more meaningful and advantages than if they were to have two parents. The children would not be forced to choose sides if a parental argument borke out. Children do feel a closer relationship if they have one parent and one set of rules.

When children feel closer to their parent, they feel more secure. Security for a single parent is very important to maintain with the child. Children to trust people more if the person is not conterdicted. With one parent, the child feels secure about what is right and what is wrong. The children are also able to develop faster with emotions that they share with one parent. The children do not have to worry about telling the mother or the father; they can confide directly to their single parent.

People are trying many different ways to have a child of their own. People have even been know to steel children. People will go to almost any length to get a child including marriage. Marriges are failing at a rate of 50%. A divorce puts untold amounts of strain on children as well as parents. People do not need to put themself through these needless hardships. Single parents do not face the pain involved in a divorce which ends up making the children pick sides. Single parents represents the one personal intructer without the conflict of an emotional family unit.

In the homes of today, people are reaching out for care and guidence that a single parent could offer. Children are respecting and understanding why their mother or father did not get married. They also understand that their parent wanted them more than a mate. Children understand that they can get enough love from one parent. A policy of a single parent is one that should also be supported by the government.


Rating: 1



IS IT BETTER TO HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS THAN TO BE AN ONLY CHILD? EXPLAIN.

Growing up with brothers and sisters is important to a young child. It is better to have brothers and sisters than to be an only child.

Growing up as an only child can Growing up as an only child can be very lonely. Many children today need the companionship of a brother and sister to keep them in line. When a child is without a brother or sister, there seems to be missing a large part of what life is all about. Growing up means learning to cope with those around you and learning from your brother or sister what is the difference between right and wrong. The spare time a child has should be spent with brothers and sisters. The fellowship of a family plays a vital role in how a child creates an idea of how to treat others around him. Loneliness can lead to emotional problems throughout a child's life. A big brother showing a little brother how to play baseball or how to build a treehouse is an example why a brother is important. A big sister showing a little sister how to cook or fix supper can show the need for a sister. Not having brothers and sisters can lead to a lonely life.

Influence from a brother or sister can be important as a child. Many children do things without knowing whether they did right or wrong. An older brother can be there to show little things like how to treat guests or the difference in respect or rudeness. Older brothers and sisters play a major part in how the younger child grows up. Many times a younger brother or sister will act as the older brother or sister did. Having an older sister can mean the difference between knowing proper manners or not, because older sisters seem to teach the younger ones how to act at the table or how to act while company is present. A big brother who is a big standout at school can play a large role in how a younger brother strives to do as he is growing up. Brothers and sisters hold the true meaning of friendship and love. The influence a brother and sister have on another brother and sister can be important in the outcome of each other. Love many times comes from brothers and sisters. A child that is mistreated at school may come home looking for a good word from a brother. If there is no brother or sister then the emotions can stagger and create an obstacle in the child's social life. A brother or sister at home can mean having someone to talk to and share good times.

Being an only child seems to produce a spoiled person later in life. Children that grow up as an only child seem to receive everything their hearts desire. The child that gets anything he wants grows up wanting more than he truely needs to survive. As a spoiled child gets older, then the demands for earthly possession get greater. If a want goes unanswered, then a child may began to look for other ways to get these things. Children who do not have brothers and sisters do not respect other people's possessions. A spoiled child is obviously the lack of a brother or sister as a companion. Sharing with someone else can mean respecting other people's feelings. A child without a brother or sister won't share because sharing with others has never been experienced as a young child. Spoiled children sometimes take longer to mature because of the lack of guidance by a brother or sister. An only child can not know the meaning of sharing without growing up with a brother and sister.

The company of brothers and sisters is important to a young child while growing up. Loneliness, influence and sharing of possessions are reasons why having brothers and sisters is important for a child.


Rating: 2



WHICH OF THE FOUR SEASONS OF THE YEAR APPEALS TO YOU THE MOST? WHY?


Fall appeals to me most because it seems to be the "calm" season. During this time of year, not many people are seen about the streets, or just hanging out on corners. Even the trees look calm. Their coats change into different hues of yellow, orange, and even red. After this transition has taken place, the trees begin to shed these beautiful colors until they are naked and asleep.

The air is cool and a great relief from the hot, still air of summer which brings people out of their houses and into the streets, swimming pools, and onto beaches filled with noises such as loud music. This cool air, instead, makes people want to stay inside, surrounded by the calming warmth of a house whose firplace exudes a lazy contentment, and whose walls reflect a myriad of illusions shaped by dancing flame. Nonetheless, taking walks alone and enjoying the sights and stillness of Fall is enough to calm and relax the soul, especially mine when I need it. While I walk, I hear no noise and its so easy to imagine that there's only me and the trees.

I, personally, look forward to Fall each year, hoping that maybe it will last longer than the last time it came around with all of its different and interesting colors, and its "calmness". Even Winter fails to compare favorably in my mind because that beautiful blanket of white becomes dirty and temperatures grow harsh. Spring is for the birds.


Rating: 2



CHOOSE A PROFESSION WHOSE MEMBERS MAKE A WORTHWHILE CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY AND DISCUSS THE BENEFITS THAT SOCIETY RECEIVES FROM MEMBERS OF THIS PROFESSION.


One necessity of life for living things is food. Without food people cannot live long. With today's large population, high costs of production, and low energy supplies much improvement is needed on our present agricultural production systems to meet the needs of the world. Agricultural researchers are the answer to the problems. Agricultural researchers make a worthwhile contribution in society in that they are constantly coming up with new and better methods to produce the food required by the world.

Today's food requirements for the world are higher than ever before simply because there are more people than ever before. While the population grows, the amount of land available for production does not, if anything the amount gets smaller. More food must be produced on less land. Agricultural researchers have done much work in this area. They have developed the practice of triple-cropping, which is producing three crops in one year on one field. The practice of fertilizing the soil has been developed to provide more nutrients for the crops, and improved feeds that tend to make livestock grow at faster rates have been produced.

Farmers of today have a real problem in trying to deal with the higher costs of production. Agricultural researchers have developed methods of crop production where once the crop has been planted you do not need to go back into the field until harvest time. The main way Ag. researchers have tried to deal with high production costs is by increasing production sharply so that the farmer will recieve more money.

With all the other problems facing them, agricultural researchers must still work their way around today's dwindling energy supplies. They have captured the rays of the sun to dry crops and heat livestock facilities. They have used the wind to power machines such as windmills, which pump water from the ground. They have invented tractors and machines that are more fuel efficient or run off of alternate forms of fuel. The work still goes on.

Agricultural researchers have done much to improve our production methods. Improvement is a necessity if the world is to survive. Our old agricultural production practices are a thing of the past, the world's needs can only be met with new and improved methods. The sky is the limit for agricultural researchers.


Rating: 2



WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU REGARD AS IMPORTANT IN A PERSON YOU WOULD CHOOSE AS A FRIEND?

The Qualities in My Friends


The characteristics that I look for in a friend do not hinge upon that person's appearance or physical prowess but that person's inner self. The qualities that I look for in a friend are the ones that take time to find. The qualities I consider most important are honesty, loyalty, and kindness.

When I look for honesty in a friend I, of course, look for someone who does not cheat or steal. For example, I would not like to cover up for a friend I saw stealing from a store or from someone else. Although this I do consider important, I also want a friend who is honest about his emotions or feelings on a subject. I want a friend who will tell me how he feels even if it might hurt my feelings.

Another important quality that I look for is loyalty. The term loyalty, to me, means someone who would stick by me when my convictions were on the line even if it meant he would also be rediculed by the majority. This I believe shows a person of great inner strength.

The characteristic that I consider most important is kindness. A person who would go well out of his way to see a sick friend is a person that I would consider kind. Kindness, to me, is also someone who would go to comfort a friend who had a relative die or care for a sick animal even though it was not his own.

Although there are many more characteristics that I look for in a friend these are the ones that I consider most important. These qualities show to me a well rounded person.


Rating: 2



"AS WE GROW OLDER, OUR TOYS COST MORE." DISCUSS.


"As we get older, our toys begin to cost more." It seems in this day and age people are relying more and more on material things. It is very important to some people to gain prestige by owning a new sportscar or an expensive home. People do this when they get older for the same reasons they did as children, because they have a sense of competitiveness that tells them to be the best. Only as children their toys were not priced so high.

As children our sense of competition shines through at a very early age. It becomes important to us when we begin to play with the other children on the block that our barbie dolls or toy guns are as nice as theirs. This "competitive sense" continues as we grow. We move on to wanting even better things such as ten-speed bikes, designer clothes, and even at the early age of 16 we begin to dream of having that new Corvett.

Once we are adults we try to become a bit more subtle about our wanting things. We want the 165,000 home in Martha's Vineyard because it would be a good investment, but not because our friends from college are living in expensive homes. We also want to belong to the country club because we need a good workout on the golf course now and then, but not because our neighbor belongs to it.

All in all people grow-up and end up just spending more on their toys. It is no longer money on toy cars now it is sports cars. It is not money for a big new doll house but money for that expensive new home in the best subdivision. None of us really ever outgrow our sense of wanting to have the best things, we just find better ways of making what we want seem practical.


Rating: 2



"THE CURRENT GENERATION IS LAZY AND LACKS DISCIPLINE." DEFEND OR ATTACK THIS STATEMENT.


Each generation has been accused of being lazy and lacking discipline at one time or another. Eventually each generation becomes productive, despite previous predictions to the contrary.

The "Roaring Twenties" era is a good example of a generation of people wrongly accused as lazy and undisciplined. The great "Prohibition" of 1919 did little to stop the consumption of alcohol. Speakeasy saloons became easily accessible -- And what mother did not gasp at the revolutionary styles so-called "Flappers" donned? However, this very same generation faced a great depression just ten years later. Many families were ruined financially and the poor were even poorer. Somehow they survived and became a better people for it. I doubt if the outcome had anything to do with being "lazy" or "lacking discipline."

An even more recent example of a generation "gone bad" is the "sixties." On every campus students wore ragged blue jeans with at least one patch, usually a peace sign. Music of that generation was acid rock and anti-war. Girls wore short hair, men wore long hair. The older people wondered what to think of this new "lazy" generation that "lacked" discipline. This generation grew-up, too, many of them whizzing us into the computer age and forging the fields of technology.

Surely there will be more generations in the future prematurely judged, and unjustly labeled "lazy", "undisciplined." Do not be so quick to stereotype and find fault with generations yet to come. Someone once said "For every time there is a season". I believe this is to be true. What a better world this would be if everyone would revel in another persons' "spring."


Rating: 3



THE "LIVING WILL" DIRECTS A PERSON'S FAMILY AND PHYSICIANS NOT TO KEEP THAT PERSON ALIVE BY ARTIFICIAL MEANS IF THAT PERSON WERE TO SUFFER A TOTALLY INCAPACITATING DISEASE OR ILLNESS. WOULD YOU CONSIDER SIGNING SUCH A DOCUMENT AND GIVING IT TO YOUR OWN FAMILY? WHY OR WHY NOT?


Beyond a shadow of doubt I would sign a "Living Will" document and give it to my parents. I have very strong feelings for this issue based upon personal experiences. To me the choice is an easy one that I made several years ago because of an incident that involved my best friend.

Four years ago there was a terrible car wreck that took place in a small town in Southeast Georgia. On a rainy day two kids were out joy riding when their car skidded beneath a tractor trailer rig. The impact killed the driver instantly and sent the passenger at the age of seventeen into a coma.

When I went to the hospital with my best friend we saw her brother hooked up to some kind of machine that had tubes running everywhere. There were some in his nose, some on his arms and there were even a few in his legs. My friend and I stood there for hours staring in disbelief, sometimes crying and sometimes trying to laugh.

It has been almost five years since that horrible day but none of us are over the shock of it. For my friend's brother is still hooked up to that cold machine and he always will be. Some vital organs had been smashed and he cannot function on his own. He will never speak to any of us or hear or see us. I have watched that family suffer more than any one family ever deserves too. I have witnessed their daily visits turn into weekly ones and their weekly ones into monthly ones. All this family wants is for their son and loved one to die so that he may go to heaven.

Based upon this personal experience it is an easy choice for me to sign the "Living Will" document and give it to my family. For I would never want them to have to suffer every day like my friends family. I would much rather my family remember me as a human being as opposed to a vegetable.


Rating: 3



HOW DO YOU EXPECT YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION TO CHANGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? DISCUSS.


Having a college education can be beneficial to anyone regardless of his/her chosen profession. Because I began my college education in mid-life and am happy with my job situation, I do not expect to make a major career change. I do however expect my college education to change the rest of my life as a secretary, a wife and mother, and as a member of my community.

An essential part of being a good secretary is having good communication skills. The knowledge I have gained through English 101 and English 102 has already improved my skill in written communication. Quite often I am tasked to write letters for my organization but more often I am expected to change or rearrange a letter, a presentation or other material written by a co-worker. This task requires not only skill in correct writing procedures but that and good oral communication as well. I am learning to better communicate orally through interaction with other students as well as with college professors. Through my college education I am gaining more self-confidence and higher self-esteem which contribute to good oral communication. My co-workers have learned to trust my ability more (even those with Masters Degrees and Ph.D's) and are assigning me additional responsibilities as a result. I feel confident that with these added skills and the college education I am working toward that there will be promotions in my job future.

As a mother my college education will help me to better understand my children and the various problems they will encounter growing up and working on their own college educations. I will be able to advise them on curriculum choices, when to seek advise from a counselor and other problems than can be overwhelming to a new college student. As a wife I have already begun to see the effects of gaining a college education. My husband is also an evening college student. We have begun to communicate better and to understand each others problems in regards to attending college and working. Our interest in music and art has broadened and we now enjoy attending plays, museums and art shows together.

In a community and in a church there is always more work to be done than there are workers. Many times there are workers who seem to be waiting for a leader. I expect that speech classes taken in college will help tremendously in this area as well as assertiveness training and economics. As a representative of our neighborhood organization it is often necessary to speak with government officials and representatives in order to get an ordinance passed or to get other desired neighborhood projects approved. Here again I am sure knowledge gained in communication, government and economics will be helpful.

Although I do not plan a major job change as a result of my college education I am sure I will reap the benefits of this education in all walks of life but especially in my present job as a secretary, as a wife and mother, and as a community member. College thus far has broadened my outlook, made me a better communicator, and given me a better understanding of the world around me.


Rating: 3



Last updated: January 14, 2006